Remember that scene from Kung Fu Panda, where Tigress disdainfully looks at Po stuffing his face and says, her voice barbed, "It is said that the Dragon Warrior can survive on nothing but the dew from a single ginkgo leaf and the energy of the universe." To which Po replies, "Gonna need more than dew...and...universe juice."
I have this gross shit in the fridge called Greens + Extra Energy in two different flavors (I will leave it up to your imagination what the flavors are, because no matter what you dream up, it tastes worse. Trust me.) which in our house has been dubbed Universe Juice. On the mornings that my stomach is feeling particularly steely and I can actually gag it down, it makes me feel great, however, most of the time just the sight of that evil white jar in the fridge is enough to make me heave. I have a feeling that I've developed a sort of Pavlovian response to Universe Juice - this morning it really didn't taste all that bad (I only mixed half a scoop of the vile green shit with my new love, chocolate Dymatize protein powder) and I was smelling Universe Juice on everything for the rest of the day, everywhere. Ugh, just writing about Universe Juice is making me feel vaguely sick. At any rate, Joel was moved to comment this morning as I was washing down Universe Juice with cleanse juice while the children looked on with wrinkled noses, that "fitness people are insane!" And perhaps we are. But I tell ya, the vile brown cleanse juice (which looks a lot like it should on the way out, but going in? Not so much) sure tasted good after evil green Universe Juice.
In the interest of coming clean here, I feel it's only fair to acknowledge that I have sort of set aside the weight loss goal this week, which is both irretreivably lame and a relief. Lame because there have been so very many setbacks in this process and I'm sick of it, sick of hearing myself say "it's okay; this week I just need to get through ____________". The thing is, and I hate to admit this even to myself, but something's wrong. My energy has been slowly draining away, I don't recover from workouts in a reasonable amount of time, and I can't sleep at night. I have an idea of what it might be and I have to see the Dr. about it tomorrow which I also REALLY don't want to do. Not only because my doc is young and good-looking, though it doesn't help that I have to talk to him about such undignified subjects as the toxic waste dump that I have in my
uterus, but because I HATE admitting that I need help. I HATE that I may have to take some drugs to get back to normal. BAH!
Today's overshare was brought to you by the letter 'W' and Greens+. Try it! I dare you.
I am going to have to try this so called 'Universe Juice'. I want to say 'it can't be *that* bad' but I know if I do I'll be mocked by your children.
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