just plain stupid.
I've had a revelation, everyone! Check this out: I did it! Last week I did the WHOLE, 5-day, body-through-the-meat-grinder split for the FIRST time, and I'm so ridiculously happy about it that I just have to keep doing it! Again and again! So now I'm about halfway through week 2 and feeling fan-ass-tabulous - really amazing - and curiosity got the better of me this morning and I just had to step on the scale to see what had happened. Keep in mind that it's been about 2 1/2 weeks since I last weighed myself and in that amount of time I have dropped almost a full dress size, eaten better than I have in ages and have just generally felt slimmer and stronger than I have, well, ever. And sore. Did I mention sore? I hurt everywhere but I am nurturing a good healthy addictive relationship with lactic acid, so not to worry. Anyway, my body is changing lots and judging from the random comments I have been getting from the regular gym-rats (and my wonderful, supportive husband who is required to notice things like this), it's starting to show a little bit.
Needless to say, I was expecting a pretty dramatic change when I stepped on the scale, and I got it: I AM NOW HEAVIER THAN I WAS WHEN I STARTED THIS BLOG!! Seriously, what gives?
How on earth did I put on over 5lbs when I'm working this hard?? And where did it go? It's not like I'm bigger or have more dimples on my ass for my trouble.
So here's what I think. The number on the scale is just a number, and it's only a tiny part of what's really going on. I have started back into the Abel diet and I am going to keep doing what I'm doing 'cause it feels fucking great!
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
A toast...
I know it's been a while since I've posted; I've been mulling a few things over and think it's time to strike out in a new direction...and here it is:
I feel great!! How did that happen, you ask? Well, like I mentioned in my last post, the very week I tossed the whole extreme diet idea out the window and decided to just approach self-improvement from the inside out (so to speak), I lost 3.5lbs. All I did was try to eat wisely (and regularly) and continue chipping away at this crazy-ass figure competition 5-day split designed by Scott Abel. I should also mention that that whole week was Sarah's nasty flu relapse-thing and I don't think I slept more than about an hour and a half at a stretch EVER. I should have gained 10lbs that week, but I didn't....because stress = cortisol = water retention, bloat, and fat storage, and since I made the conscious decision to just accept without judgement and quit freakin' worrying and obsessing about it, I was free! I think, anyway.
So I haven't gotten on the scale in a week and a half. I think I'm doing pretty well; my body is changing and I feel stronger and more energetic than I have in ages. I also don't feel compelled to snack as much and (here's the craziest thing) I DON'T NEED COFFEE AS SOON AS I WAKE UP! AND this is the first week that I will get my whole 5-day split in. Sssssomebody ssssstop me!
I know at some point I will have to get on the scale again, just to see how I'm doing, but right now I'm a bit afraid - I am enjoying this little happy-bubble that I've created too much to pop it just yet. Will keep you all posted - cheers!
I feel great!! How did that happen, you ask? Well, like I mentioned in my last post, the very week I tossed the whole extreme diet idea out the window and decided to just approach self-improvement from the inside out (so to speak), I lost 3.5lbs. All I did was try to eat wisely (and regularly) and continue chipping away at this crazy-ass figure competition 5-day split designed by Scott Abel. I should also mention that that whole week was Sarah's nasty flu relapse-thing and I don't think I slept more than about an hour and a half at a stretch EVER. I should have gained 10lbs that week, but I didn't....because stress = cortisol = water retention, bloat, and fat storage, and since I made the conscious decision to just accept without judgement and quit freakin' worrying and obsessing about it, I was free! I think, anyway.
So I haven't gotten on the scale in a week and a half. I think I'm doing pretty well; my body is changing and I feel stronger and more energetic than I have in ages. I also don't feel compelled to snack as much and (here's the craziest thing) I DON'T NEED COFFEE AS SOON AS I WAKE UP! AND this is the first week that I will get my whole 5-day split in. Sssssomebody ssssstop me!
I know at some point I will have to get on the scale again, just to see how I'm doing, but right now I'm a bit afraid - I am enjoying this little happy-bubble that I've created too much to pop it just yet. Will keep you all posted - cheers!
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Where to start?
Last week I conceded defeat...I felt like I had been trying so hard and I was beating myself up for every tiny failure, and it was really getting me down. I was driving myself and everyone around me crazy, so I thought, "maybe if I just stop worrying about the number on the scale and just work on keeping a better emotional balance and stay healthy (mentally mostly but physically too), I will be able to tackle the weight loss issue in a few weeks."
So that's what I did. It should have been a pretty crappy week; kids were STILL sick (the flu stayed with Sarah for about a week and Shannon suffered a BIG relapse too - but it's on its way out now, thank goodness), there was VERY little sleep, but I did what I could, used what I've learned so far, and just tried to be easier on myself. The other thing that happened was that I took a life coaching course which I will get into in a minute here, but I just have to share this first: this morning I thought I might as well get on the scale - not to judge, just to see - and this week there was THE SINGLE BIGGEST DIFFERENCE SINCE I STARTED BLOGGING!!! WHOOHOO!!
Something is working! I don't want to analyze it too much - I'm going to keep leaving the numbers out and we'll see what happens. And now, to the life coaching course. I don't really know where to start; there was so very much that resonated with me that it will take a little while to digest. Right now, I feel like my guts have been torn open, wrung out, and put back together the way my father-in-law builds things: it all looks right and seems to work, but there are all these extra pieces left over...I obviously have some homework to do but I think - no, I KNOW - that ultimately I will be better for going through this process, and for the first time I am looking forward to it. Already I feel lighter (must be the extra pieces), happier and more inspired. And a bit raw.
It's going to be an interesting week!
So that's what I did. It should have been a pretty crappy week; kids were STILL sick (the flu stayed with Sarah for about a week and Shannon suffered a BIG relapse too - but it's on its way out now, thank goodness), there was VERY little sleep, but I did what I could, used what I've learned so far, and just tried to be easier on myself. The other thing that happened was that I took a life coaching course which I will get into in a minute here, but I just have to share this first: this morning I thought I might as well get on the scale - not to judge, just to see - and this week there was THE SINGLE BIGGEST DIFFERENCE SINCE I STARTED BLOGGING!!! WHOOHOO!!
Something is working! I don't want to analyze it too much - I'm going to keep leaving the numbers out and we'll see what happens. And now, to the life coaching course. I don't really know where to start; there was so very much that resonated with me that it will take a little while to digest. Right now, I feel like my guts have been torn open, wrung out, and put back together the way my father-in-law builds things: it all looks right and seems to work, but there are all these extra pieces left over...I obviously have some homework to do but I think - no, I KNOW - that ultimately I will be better for going through this process, and for the first time I am looking forward to it. Already I feel lighter (must be the extra pieces), happier and more inspired. And a bit raw.
It's going to be an interesting week!
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Adios, scale!
Okay, I admit it: I didn't post first thing this morning because I have been wrestling with an elephant. I hate to even write this down, but I have to admit defeat for now in the weight loss department....because it's getting frustrating to write about and boring to read!
I have referred vaguely to a health problem in past posts and it is becoming clear to me that I need to get my body's equilibrium back in order to succeed at getting my weight under control; trying to do both at the same time is driving me crazy. I keep thinking that if I can only get this diet or that plan down to a habit then I can deal with other things that need fixing, but then I get so angry with myself over not being able to do such a little thing that it bleeds into other parts of my life...when really, I think I have been approaching this self-improvement game backwards. Don't get me wrong, weight loss is still on the priority list, it's just been bumped down a notch until I get my head (and my, um, hormonal/chemical imbalances) back into the right place.
So where to from here? Do I keep blogging? I don't know. I don't want to put more depressing shit out there; this blog was intended to be a lighthearted look at all the stupid things we do to ourselves in the name of the number on the scale and I've gone kinda dark on everyone (sorry.) I fully intend to keep inching toward completing my 5 day workout split inside a week (and I got a little closer this week!), I have the 1/2 ironman this summer and I just signed up to do the Ride to Conquer Cancer again. The goals have remained the same...so maybe what I'll do is keep posting once a week and leave the numbers out until I am ready to focus on weight loss again. Hopefully that will be sooner than later!
I have referred vaguely to a health problem in past posts and it is becoming clear to me that I need to get my body's equilibrium back in order to succeed at getting my weight under control; trying to do both at the same time is driving me crazy. I keep thinking that if I can only get this diet or that plan down to a habit then I can deal with other things that need fixing, but then I get so angry with myself over not being able to do such a little thing that it bleeds into other parts of my life...when really, I think I have been approaching this self-improvement game backwards. Don't get me wrong, weight loss is still on the priority list, it's just been bumped down a notch until I get my head (and my, um, hormonal/chemical imbalances) back into the right place.
So where to from here? Do I keep blogging? I don't know. I don't want to put more depressing shit out there; this blog was intended to be a lighthearted look at all the stupid things we do to ourselves in the name of the number on the scale and I've gone kinda dark on everyone (sorry.) I fully intend to keep inching toward completing my 5 day workout split inside a week (and I got a little closer this week!), I have the 1/2 ironman this summer and I just signed up to do the Ride to Conquer Cancer again. The goals have remained the same...so maybe what I'll do is keep posting once a week and leave the numbers out until I am ready to focus on weight loss again. Hopefully that will be sooner than later!
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