Okay everyone, I have hit a real low point and I need some motivation...or some sleep...or something. Started out this week feeling 10 feet tall and bulletproof, and all it took was for my family to get sick, a couple of sleepless nights, and I am back to stuffing sugar into my face just to keep going. No time to work out and no energy to create the time.
I know that on some level I am choosing to fail here. Did you see the Biggest Loser on Tuesday? I actually came close to shedding a tear for Amanda; she is exactly where I was 5 or 6 years ago: so used to being the fat girl that nobody expects anything from that the possibility of success is the scariest idea imaginable...it's all a matter of what we're used to. This week I am scurrying back to where my comfort zone was for all those years but the problem is that it's gone! This isn't fun anymore! Overeating doesn't make me feel better; quite the opposite - which is probably a good thing in the big picture, but what about right now? What is there to fall back on? Can't go work out; I'm home alone with the girlies (whose incessant fighting and chattering and demands for snacks are driving me insane) and I am sliding into a really foul mood. Clearly I need a strategy for dealing with days like this. Suggestions?
Hmmm...this is a tough one. My comfort place has always been the gym, so without that I'm not sure how I would cope without stuffing my face with cookies.
ReplyDeleteHow sick are the girls? Too sick for some fresh air at a park? When feeling cooped up I enjoy some fresh coffee in a travel mug and taking my boy to the park. There I can sit, drink my coffee, and read a book while keeping an eye on the little one.
If they're really sick, I usually pop in a movie and cuddle. Although I'm not sure how your girls are when they're sick. And asking for snacks all the time is no doubt frustrating as well.
I'm not sure if this helped at all, but at least you know that there are others out there who feel your frustration and know where you're coming from. Just keep plugging along and remember that you can do this, and it's one small, extremely hard step at a time.
:)
I wish I had some magical words to help you through stressful weeks and frustrating moments - but I don't. If I did, I'd probably be thin!
ReplyDeleteI do feel the need to comment that your old comfort zone of eating for comfort is gone - that you realize it isn't working anymore. That's huge in my opinion.
To reach a point to see that it isn't working is a breakthrough of some kind. It has to be. And good for you for doing whatever it took for you to reach that place!
This week ahead as the struggles of the day happen, remember what a wise person told me last week - each day doesn't have to be perfect - just better than the one before!
I appreciate you posting your struggles in this area. I admire you very much and am amazed at your determination to conquer the battle.
Take care of yourself along the way Hannah - be as good to yourself as you are to others!
Ev.